Sunday, August 16, 2009

Get the Relationship of Your Dreams

with Amy Waterman

When it comes to relationships, everyone has an opinion. Your mother. Your best friend. Your hairdresser.

But when it comes to opinions that count, you can't afford NOT to be choosy. Following what everyone else does will get you the same results as everyone else. And going by the divorce rate and the number of singles still searching for love, what everyone else is doing is not working too well.

That's where Amy Waterman comes in. She's a recognized relationship expert and writer who's well-known for her online courses and ebooks. She realizes that not everyone has the time to research the best quality information on finding a relationship and keeping it . let alone strengthening it in the face of challenges like infidelity, money, communication, stress, or simply falling out of love.

That's why you need to check out Amy's relationship ebooks and online courses. They're your quick, easy, and EFFECTIVE answer to your relationship problems.

Amy keeps up to date on the latest research to deliver you the best, scientifically-proven methods for finding new relationships and rekindling old ones. She's done the research so that you don't have to.

Best of all, her techniques are easy to understand and easier to follow. With an M.A. in writing and international speaking experience, Amy has a knack for providing the advice you need at just the right time.

Ultimately, most people go with what they can get. Common sense. Their hairdresser's advice. What they see on television.

Don't follow the crowd.

Get REAL advice. Get REAL solutions to your relationship problems. Amy Waterman's online courses will give you the CONFIDENCE of knowing what to do and what to say in every possible situation. Whether you're looking for love or want to rekindle a love that has died, her methods will give you the power to create the relationship you always wanted.

Discover her entire suite of relationship products today:

* Learn how to repair a damaged marriage with "Save My Marriage Today!"
* Women, unleash your inner seduction potential with "Seduction Genie."
* If your dream is to find love with the man of your dreams, you can't miss "How to Be Irresistible to Men."

These online courses are part of the Triple O Relationships Network, the ultimate resource to get the relationship you always wanted.

Monday, August 10, 2009

When Do You Know If He's Right?

by Amy Waterman, Relationship Expert

How many dates does it take to make a decision about whether or not you want to pursue a relationship?

I've always been curious about this aspect of dating, because very few women have comparable experiences. With some dates, the knowledge is immediate and instinctual. With other dates, months may pass before the endearing nature of his laugh, his smile, his character becomes apparent.

I know that I am a slow warmer. I am wary when I meet a man for the first time. I am dubious of his intentions. I read innuendo where none was intended. It takes me time to let down my guard.

It's not because I'm naturally a suspicious person. It's because, in the realm of relationships, I've been burned enough by bad apples.

I'm representative of most women my age. By one's thirties, one has experienced enough bad relationships to associate the dualities of pain and pleasure with a man. One is never sure how much to trust.

But this isn't natural.

Twenty years ago, I loved all boys. I played with them innocently and full-heartedly. Boys were my playmates, my cohorts in crime, and my teammates for games. I could think no evil of boys. Their strange preferences for dirt, body odor, cars, and constrictive underpants were simply idiosyncrasies of fascinating playmates.

As I grew older, I realized that boys could no longer be trusted to play innocently with me. My first two male friends in college were cool--a jazz musician and an Apple Mac gamer--until I realized they "liked" me. I quickly dissolved the friendships. I wanted the innocent companionship and friendship of my childhood male schoolmates. I didn't realize that maturing would erase that possibility completely.

When do we women lose our innocence with men? And can we ever regain it?

In my line of work, one great danger is to take relationships and attraction too seriously. Many women feel that the potential of the man they are seeing is a matter of life or death. Instead of having fun playing with him (like a child with a favorite playmate), they evaluate his potential as a father. They situate any future relationship squarely in the realm of adulthood. The rest of their lives is at stake.

My flatmate tells me that the definition of compatibility as a couple is when his or her issues are compatible with your issues.

That's a pretty adult view of the situation.

I have a different view. I believe that you know a man is compatible with you if he likes to play the same "games" you like to play. Maybe you like to tease in a certain way; maybe there's a certain game in bed that you like to play. Maybe you like to go out; maybe you like to mountain bike. If he likes to enjoy himself and have fun and laugh in the same ways as you, you've found a potential soulmate.

We all knew back in childhood that there were some children that we could play with for ages, and there were others who liked games that didn't interest us. It's the same with men and women.

Yet in our attempt to find a suitable man, we often forget to look for one that we have fun with. One that makes the kinds of jokes we find funny (and laughs at our jokes). One that is up for any crazy scheme we propose. One that will make our life happy and light-hearted, not just important and successful.

Life is serious and dry enough. We don't need relationships to replicate those patterns.

Relationships should be a haven from life's dry seriousness. You should be able to feel like a child with your partner, unembarrassed at the silliest of games. Together, you will be responsible for forming a life, raising children, making a home ... but all this will only be enjoyable if you can laugh together.

I have been out on dates with many successful, intense, highly attractive men. I admire them, appreciate them, and learn much from conversations with them. These are the men who will shape the world. No woman can fail to respond to their power.

But as for myself ... in my little, humble world ... I envision my ideal future as one in which there is always laughter, in which I can return to childhood with my spouse and play those games that I didn't get to play enough before I grew "old." I want us to be able to chase one another around the room, have pillow fights, and wrestle. I want us to tease one another, share silly jokes, and dissolve the seriousness of a working day with the magical spell of humor.

So, I suppose, the answer to my question is that it takes exactly the number of dates you need to decide whether you've found a companion you can play with. Some kids find a game they can play with each other right off the bat. Other kids end up trying lopsided games that one but not the other likes until they either find a game they like in common or give up.

Trust your child-heart's instinct. Ask yourself ... if you were a kid, would you play with this guy? Or would he be one of those kids who tries to control the game, or change the rules, or cheat?

A partner who makes life more fun is a treasure indeed,

All the best in life and love,

Amy Waterman
Host of "How to Be Irresistible to Men"
Learn More at:

About the author:

Amy Waterman is a professional writer specializing in attraction, dating, and relationships. She has extensive experience in helping women find love with her insightful and powerful secrets into attracting love and making relationships work. She is currently the host of the latest edition of "How To Be Irresistible To Men," which is part of the 000Relationships Network.

Her innovative program is a powerful instant-access multimedia course with a comprehensive supporting workbook. Additionally, members receive a number of bonus e-books on topics ranging from overcoming shyness to kissing, a 160-minute online video library, secrets of self-hypnosis, their very own personal email consultation, and much, much more! The "How To Be Irresistible To Men" Premium Course offers all women – single or not - a dynamic and comprehensive toolkit to attract love into their lives and establish strong and supportive relationships.

You can learn more about how to attract the man of your dreams and get the relationship you always wanted at:


Friday, August 7, 2009

Why It's Called a Breakup

by Amy Waterman, Relationships Expert

A few months ago, I read Greg Behrendt's book on breakups, It's Called A Breakup Because It's Broken. I am a huge fan of He's Just Not That Into You, and I expected great things from the sequel.

It disappointed me. Not because the information wasn't good. Not because the style wasn't lively and engaging.

It was simply because nothing was revolutionary.

He's Just Not That Into You revolutionized my perspective on dating. Friends who read it suddenly "got" why previous relationships had dissolved. Greg explains that the simple reason why some relationships stuck together and others didn't was because the guys who are really into you want to be with you ... no matter WHAT.

Why didn't he call after the second date? He just wasn't that into you.
Why did he dump you? Because no matter how he claimed he felt about you, he just wasn't that into you.
Why should you not want him back? Because breaking up with you proved that he's not into you as much as you deserve.

The latter is the entire topic of It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken.

How a woman deals with a breakup tests her emotional maturity more than any other scenario. In order to grow as a woman, you MUST learn how to deal with breakups well, without poisoning your ability to love again. That's why studying this topic is so important.

At Triple O Relationships, we receive emails from so many women wanting to know how to get their previous boyfriend back. In fact, it would be fair to say that getting an ex back is one of the top three issues women hope we'll solve.

The problem is that 99.9% of these exes aren't worth having back. Many of them are abusive, have a personal life in shambles, are already with another woman, or have proven through their actions that they're unable to act in a mature way in a relationship or make the commitment to trying to become a better person and partner.

Yet these women would prefer to be with an imperfect partner than to be alone. Of course they would.

We all prefer the demon we know. Being single again means facing the dating scene, the lack of someone to depend on, no one to cuddle with, and putting on false bravery to one's friends. It is stressful, lonely, and hard to be single. It's an emotional challenge to feel fulfilled when there is no "special someone" in your life to whom you can give the gift of your abundant love.

But Greg's answer to the situation isn't adequate, either.

In his book, Greg tells us, "You deserve better than that ex of yours. He just wasn't that into you; otherwise, he wouldn't have broken up with you. Never settle for that. Demand a man who's truly into you."

Is getting over a breakup really that simple?

I don't think it is.

Don Miguel Ruiz, in The Mastery of Love, explains that the amount of abuse we tolerate in a partner is equal to the amount of abuse we heap on ourselves. If a woman is used to telling herself that she's ugly, that she fails at everything she tries, and that she's not capable of performing in the world without someone holding her hand, then she'll accept--and even feel most comfortable with--a man who reinforces these beliefs.

For example, if your partner makes a cutting comment about the horrible dinner you cooked that night, and one of your beliefs about yourself is that you are a bad cook, then you will accept his comment and berate yourself even more for not being better in the kitchen. If, on the other hand, you feel quite self-assured about your competence in the kitchen, you will challenge him on it and refuse to let his rudeness slide.

As a result, many women find it difficult to set higher standards for themselves in the dating world without re-evaluating how well they treat themselves.

Women who have a litany of negative self-comments running through their heads will accept partners who criticize them.

Women who don't value or respect themselves will accept partners who don't value or respect them either.

So what should we do?

Greg does his best to pump up our self-esteem. He calls us all "Superfoxes." He wants all of us women grieving over breakups to believe that we are totally hot babes who deserve princes. But (to point out the obvious) Greg doesn't know each of his readers personally. Greg's belief that I am a Superfox isn't enough to transform whatever personal beliefs I have inside about myself.

The 000 Relationships perspective on breakups is much more simple. Yes, women need to improve their sense of self-worth. Yes, women need to set realistically high standards when choosing partners. However, the only thing that women need to know when a breakup occurs is this.

It wasn't meant to be.

Can I repeat that? It wasn't meant to be.

If he decides that he no longer wants to be with you, then clearly it wasn't meant to be.

Let me explain.

A relationship is composed of two people. When one of those people backs out, then there is no longer a relationship. Even if the two people decide at a later date to get back together, they aren't simply continuing the old relationship. That's over. They are starting a new relationship, with new rules, that may be completely different from what they had in the past.

The number one thing women need when a breakup occurs is faith that things are happening as they are meant to happen, according to the Divine Plan that the Divine Power has for each one of us.

For me, my faith in the Divine helps me accept when life takes a different path to the one I desire. It doesn't mean I'm fatalistic. On the contrary. When I am in a relationship, I am actively seeking to improve it, to be the best partner I can be, and to grow in love.

But I am in the relationship ONLY to give my gift of love and learn how to give that gift better. I am NOT in the relationship to ask for what I give to be given back to me.

Most people, unfortunately, operate on the barter principle of love.

I'll give you love if you give me love.

If I give you love that isn't returned, then you owe me.

If I give you love, and you throw it back in my face and walk away, then I have the right to hate you, because you're a bad person for not wanting to accept my love.

That's just plain ugly.

If you want to learn to face a breakup maturely and grow even more beautiful, more loving, and more open as a result, then this is what you need to do.

Love through the breakup. Love him. Love him even though he isn't yours. Send all your love to him as best wishes for his future. Use the opportunity to grow in love and embrace all that was best in yourself when you were with him.

Don't let the poison of the dying relationship enter your soul. Don't take away from the relationship the arguments, the hurtful things he said or did, and the mistakes made. You can forget those now. It's over.

Just take away the beautiful things. Take away how you felt in your best moments. Take away how you felt your heart open, how you learned to give him more than you'd ever given anyone else.

Then let him go with love.

I firmly believe that whatever happens, happens for a reason, and I trust that the reason lies in the Divine. I don't have to know why a man broke up with me; I simply have faith that God is leading us both down the right path for each of us.

So when a man breaks up with you, all you need to do is recognize that this particular relationship wasn't meant to be (even though you may start a new one later down the track with the same person) and let the decision rest with the Divine. Believe, if it helps, that he wasn't the one who dumped you; it was the Divine Spirit acting through him for the benefit of you both.

It's called a breakup because life has different paths for you at the moment. Breakups don't have to hurt. They're only about rejection if you make them about rejection. You have the power inside yourself to decide how you are going to make meaning of the end of your relationship.

If you are a mature woman, you will bid him goodbye and bless his future with all of your continued love, and then you will turn to the Divine and meditate on the what possible plan the Divine has for you that requires your new found freedom.

If you are like most women, you will despise him, transform all the love you once had into hate, focus on the pain, and let your self-esteem plummet in the face of rejection.

Which choice do you prefer?

Amy Waterman
Host of "How to Be Irresistible to Men"
Learn More at:

About the author:

Amy Waterman is a professional writer specializing in attraction, dating, and relationships. She has extensive experience in helping women find love with her insightful and powerful secrets into attracting love and making relationships work. She is currently the host of the latest edition of "How To Be Irresistible To Men," which is part of the 000Relationships Network.

Her innovative program is a powerful instant-access multimedia course with a comprehensive supporting workbook. Additionally, members receive a number of bonus e-books on topics ranging from overcoming shyness to kissing, a 160-minute online video library, secrets of self-hypnosis, their very own personal email consultation, and much, much more! The "How To Be Irresistible To Men" Premium Course offers all women – single or not - a dynamic and comprehensive toolkit to attract love into their lives and establish strong and supportive relationships.

You can learn more about how to attract the man of your dreams and get the relationship you always wanted at:


Monday, July 20, 2009

How To Stop My Divorce

First, if you were the one who made the decision to end the marriage and now you wonder, how can I stop my divorce? you should realize that you’re in a much better position than most people trying to save their relationships. You’ll need to swallow your pride and go to your spouse with an apology. Explain that you acted hastily and that now you regret it. Explain that you no longer want the divorce, and maybe even that you never wanted it but you spoke out of anger and you were wrong.

This might seem a difficult step, but it’s necessary. Since you were the one to bring up the issue of divorce, your spouse might have started seriously considering and thinking that it’s a good idea, too. When you want to know, “How to stop my divorce,” you need to discover what your spouse thinks of the idea and make it clear that you were wrong. Unless they’ve had a lot of time and reason to decide that you were right and divorce is the best step, you can probably save the marriage just by admitting you made a mistake.

If you’re wondering, “How can I stop my divorce when I didn’t want it in the first place,” then you have your work cut out for you. You can explain, without judgment or accusations, that you think the marriage is worth saving and that you don’t want a divorce. Chances are that you’ve done this, more than once. But the way you say it can make a difference.

It’s important for you to be very mature and calm about it. That’s not always easy to do. Divorce is an emotional and painful thing. But it’s one thing to cry while explaining that you want to stay married, and entirely another to yell or dissolve into hysterics. If you scream, accuse or point fingers at your spouse, you’re giving him or her even more reason to want to get away from you. If you want to learn ‘how to stop my divorce’ you have to let go of the anger and resentment you feel toward your spouse for ever suggesting it in the first place.

You also have to be willing to work on your problems. You must agree that the relationship can’t go back to the way it was, but must change for the better. Suggest marital counseling. Explain, “I want to stop my divorce,” but make it clear you know your spouse was unhappy with the way things were, and you’re ready to make them better.

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How To Get Over Someone You Love

If you want to know how to get over someone you love, you must realize that none of the answers are easy ones. No matter how ready you might think you are to move on and get over that person, that you have to ask how to do it at all shows that it’s going to be a painful process. Sometimes it’s a slow process, too. You might think you’re over someone and a year or two later be reminded of that person and feel all the pain and sadness again. That doesn’t mean you’re not over the person, though.

If you’ve had a lot emotionally invested into a relationship and it ends, it’s something that can potentially make you feel sad for years. Maybe even for the rest of your life. But that doesn’t mean the sadness has to be paralyzing or has to throw you into a depression. By getting over the person, you can realize that losing them made you sad, and look back on it as you would any sad loss. It’s the period of time soon after the loss that should be the hardest, that makes you ask how to get over someone you love.

If the break-up is new, often the only way to deal with it is just to face the pain and ride it out. It’s going to hurt, no matter what you do. But there are some things you can do to lessen the pain. You can remove obvious visual reminders of the person, if possible. Photographs of them can be put away for a while. Gifts they gave you can be stored instead of displayed. You can even avoid the places you used to go together for a while. This tip can be found in pretty much every list that explains how to get over someone you love, so it’s at least a popular idea that’s worth a try.

If you’re really having trouble living your life after the break-up, it might be necessary to seek counseling. Simply explain that you’ve just been through a painful break-up and ask the counselor how to get over someone you love. They can offer helpful advice, and can be more specific that generic lists about how to get over someone you love. A counselor can also probably offer better advice than friends or family.

Your friends and family might feel they know your situation too well. Some may have motives for help you get over the person. They might not have liked that you were in the relationship to begin with, so they might want you to get over things or move on to another person too quickly. With a counselor, though, you can safely tell them things about the relationship you probably don’t want friends or family to even know.

Feel free to go to counseling for as long as you need to. If the counselor feels you’re spending too much time dwelling on how to get over someone you love, they’ll tell you.

Or if you have 2nd thoughts of MAKING UP...Get the reading HERE...

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Friday, July 17, 2009

Heartbroken Poem To Help You Heal

If you’ve ever been through a sad break-up with someone you’ve love, you may have written a heartbroken poem. You may have even written such a poem for things like the loss of a pet or a family member, sadness at moving away from your friends, or any number of sad life events. But it seems nothing inspires such sad poetry as a break-up or divorce. Just as few things inspire love poetry quite like being in a happy, loving relationship.

Poetry is an excellent medium for self-expression. Unless you’re writing poetry with the hope of having it published one day, you can write poetry however you like. It doesn’t have to be good poetry. You don’t have to understand any of the poetic terms or conventions like rhyme, meter or free verse. You don’t even have to have ever read a really good poem in your life to write a heartbroken poem that can help you feel better and maybe help you heal from the pain of a break-up.

An important early step in getting over a break-up or any sad situation is simply facing the pain. While it might feel better to avoid dealing with the reality of the situation, you can’t really move past it without facing it and feeling the pain, at least for a while. So facing up to whatever painful situation is happening is necessary. A heartbroken poem can help you deal with those painful feelings when you’ve split with someone you love.

Don’t worry about whether it’s good or not. No one else ever has to read your heartbroken poem. It’s for you and you alone. Just write down your feelings, as hard as that may be. You can write in plain language. Don’t try to imitate the poets of the 17th and 18th century. Write like you talk, and break the lines where it feels natural to you. In fact, you can start by writing one huge paragraph filled with all your feelings and everything you want to express, just to get it out. Then you can go back and arrange your thoughts and feelings into a poem.

Once you’ve written a heartbroken poem, you might want to write more about different parts of the pain. That’s good. Get down everything you can, and that will help you to face the pain. Writing the poetry will probably be a very emotional time for you. Don’t try to stop it. Just let the pain out and you’ll be better able to move on.

If you decide you want to share your heartbroken poem, you can show family or friends. Or if you want to share it but not with anyone you know, you can put it online. There are websites designed just for such things. You can upload your poetry for free and let other people know if you want to receive criticism or not. You might opt to not receive comments on your heartbroken poem and just enjoy the fact that you’ve shared your experience.

Here's a book for you to read on....see if you can get any answer for what you are looking for:

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Dont Wait How To Get Over Someone Fast

When a relationship ends, especially if you're not the one who ended it, how to get over someone becomes very important. It’s not always easy to get over a person you’ve been with, though. If you’ve been with that person for a very long time it’s even harder. It might be pretty easy to get over a relationship that’s lasted 3 months. But if you've been with someone for 3 years, it's hard to get over that person at all, let alone get over them quickly. Fortunately, there are some things you can do to speed up the process.

When you're wondering how to get over someone, sit in a chair in your living room or bedroom, wherever there’s a very strong sense of the other person. Remove anything that reminds you of that person a great deal. This isn't always easy to do, but every little bit helps. If you've bought a dog together, for instance, of course you won’t want to get rid of the dog. But anything your ex bought for you that’s on display like a knick-knack or something hanging on the wall would be a good thing to remove for a while.

If you have lots of things that will remind you of your ex, you're probably wondering how to get over someone without making your rooms completely bare. But even if you picked out practically everything together, you don’t have to remove everything to make this work. Just choose items that have particularly strong memories.

Maybe you picked out the couch together, but it's one of the throw pillows that you bought or the figurine on the end table he or she gave you as a gift that seems to make you feel sad when you look at it. Remove those items and store them for a while, just to make things easier on you.

If you’re having a really hard time and feel that you can handle it, you can think of all your ex’s bad qualities. Of all the methods of how to get over someone, this is the one where you actually think of your ex the most, so if just the very thought of them brings you to tears you might not be ready for this step. Think of the things you disliked the most about them. If you can’t thing of anything, just move on. But most of us can come up with a long list of things we dislike about someone, especially if they were the ones to end the relationship.

A popular method of how to get over someone is to simply start dating again. Many people balk at this idea—they think they still love the ex and aren’t ready. You can do this even if you’re still in love with your ex. No one says you have to fall in love anytime soon. But dating or even going out with friends isn’t just how to get over someone, it’s how to keep from feeling sorry for yourself while you try.


How To Win Back Lost Love

If you’ve had a break-up, you’re probably either trying to figure out how to get over the person, or how to win back lost love. Neither is very easy, but most people fall to one or the other, with only very few able to move on quickly without pining or wishing things could be different. You should really think hard about the relationship and your ex before you do anything. Think about how things were and how they will be now. Try to be as unbiased as you can. You might decide that the break-up really isn’t a bad idea.

If you decide to try to win back lost love, the first step is to apologize. You might think you’ve done this. You might have said you were sorry several times. But if your ex thought you were apologizing just to stop a break-up, he or she might not think the apology was sincere.

If you were the one who did something that you need to apologize for, apologize again. Now they might think the apology is sincere, because nothing hinges on it. If the relationship has ended, you won’t be saying it only to save it but they will believe that you really mean it. (And hopefully, you do.)

When your ex was the one who did something worth apologizing for, then rather than try to get a sincere apology from them, forgive them. You may never forget, especially if your break-up was because of cheating, but you must learn to forgive. Forgiving is much harder for some of us than merely saying, “I forgive you,” though, so you might want to read a book or two on forgiveness and how to really mean it. If you want to win back lost love, this step will help you do it. And it can help prevent problems in the future, too.

If you do succeed and you win back lost love, 3 or 6 or 9 months into the newly patched relationship, old issues might come up. If you haven’t forgiven the person for whatever was done to break up the relationship, then you might have a hard time getting past everything. Old wounds would be reopened and it’s likely that hurtful things would be said.

But if you can truly forgive the person, then there won’t be any need to rehash the past. While you’re working on forgiving him or her for whatever happened to cause the break up, forgive them for the break up itself and you’ll save yourself lots of grief down the road.

Also, to win back lost love, show the person the "you" they fell in love with, not the “you” that has been dumped. They were with you because you have certain qualities—kindness, thoughtfulness—not because you’re angry, jealous or hurt. While you might not be able to hide the hurt, concentrate on being the best "you" you can possibly be and you may win back lost love by reminding them why they loved you in the first place.

Discover How Get Your Ex Back in 4 Easy Steps

Almost everyone in their life has had to go through a breakup. A breakup is a strange thing. Most things in life, the more you do them, the easier it becomes to do. With breakups no matter how many you've had to go through in the past, they certainly don't become easier to go through.

After a breakup, unless the relationship was completely terrible, most people desire to get their ex back. In fact, sometimes, even if the relationship was unhealthy, they still desire to get their ex back. You really shouldn't try to get back with your ex if they ever used physical violence or words to hurt you. That is not a healthy relationship. If you were in a relationship like that and your ex broke up with you, then consider yourself lucky.

Otherwise, most relationships follow a pretty predictable pattern. When you first meet someone everything is wonderful and new. They can do no wrong and you can do no wrong in their eyes. After a short while comfort sets in. You adjust to each other. When the newness is gone and the comfort is there things in the relationship change. The little quirks you were willing to overlook before actually bother you now.

There is an expression: “Familiarity breeds contempt.” Truer words couldn't be spoken for relationships. After a couple get comfortable and familiar with each other, trouble usually starts. This is exactly what tests the strength of the relationship. It takes work and effort to maintain a relationship. Sometimes, when things break, instead of getting repaired, the other person wants out of the relationship completely

Do you believe, despite it being over, your relationship is worth salvaging, even if the other person made it clear, it's over? You need some answers on how get your ex back. Here are four steps you can take.

1.Say sorry

Saying you are sorry is one of the best how get your ex back methods. Even if it doesn't get your ex back, it's usually the best first step. Be sure that you say sorry for the right reasons. After a breakup it can be easy to blame yourself for everything. Remember, it takes two people to have a successful relationship. Knowing what exactly to apologize for is critical.

Whatever you do, when you apologize don't let your ex bait you into an argument. The biggest irony of saying sorry to an ex is that it can easily lead to another fight. If you say you're sorry, and your ex brings something else up, don't get defensive. Stay calm, keep your emotions, your ego, and your pride in check.

2.Sit down and talk things out

If your ex is up to it, set a time where both of you can sit down and talk. Whatever you don't beg, plead, cry, or force your ex into this. If they don't want to, then just go to the next step. If they do agree, you're going to have to keep your emotions in check. This isn't the time to get into a fight again. Make it clear to your ex that you have no desire to bring blame into the discussion.

You want to talk about the issues objectively. If you talk strictly about the issues without assigning blame, you'll get better results. It is best if you can get a therapist or an expert in the field of relationships involved with this, if at all possible.

3.Give some space

This may seem counter-intuitive to how get your ex back. You have to remember just because you want to talk to them or see them, doesn't mean they do. It is crucial to allow the partner some space. A brief time away from each other, before you try to win them back, will give you both time to cool down and a chance for them to miss you. If you're in touch with them all the time, they won't be able to miss you.

4.Show them you care about yourself

Prove to them that you care about yourself. If you seem desperate, clingy, and whiny, you will not succeed. If you sit around the house waiting for them to call or keep checking your email every few minutes hoping to get their message, you're not doing yourself any favors. Hang out with friends. Go to movies, go to concerts, go to the mall. Whatever, just get up and get out and live your life.

It's best if you're not there when your ex calls. Then they'll be wondering what you're doing. If you're out and your cell rings and its your ex, don't answer it. Let the call go to voice mail. The best thing to do is wait until the next day to call them back. Tell them you were busy, and you didn't have time to call them back. This will probably shock them. You may even be able to get them to pursue you again.

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