Almost everyone has experienced a powerful relationship
in their life,when suddenly everything which seems so
perfectly is broken off because your boyfriend wants space.
There are a number of different reasons for why a boyfriend
may suddenly need space, including family problems,
insecurities, or a fear of commitment just to name a few.
Here are some tips for answering the age old "how to get
my ex back" question if your ex boyfriend needs more space.
- You are not going to want to lose your pride, or to allow
him to get the best of you - But clearly you are still in
love with him. It may be ideal to play a little bit hard to
get at first, in order to show him that yes, it was his loss
and not your own.
- If you are feeling like your ex boyfriend still has feelings
for you,then it may be ideal for you to strike up a conversation
with him. Keep communication to a minimum in order to keep the
level of drama to a minimum. Short text messages, brief phone
calls and online conversations in passing are all a great way
to remind him how much he wants to be a part of your life without
overwhelming him with your presence when he may actually want
and need space.
- Eventually he will begin to show significant interest in you
again if all goes well, and this will give you the chance to truly
begin to reminisce with him. Keep in mind that you should focus primarily
on all of the good memories associated with your relationship in the past.
While rekindling a relationship with your ex boyfriend, you are going to
want to stay away from the bad experiences and negative experiences in
case they conjure bad feelings and undo your hard work.
- If your boyfriend is not responding to your slow and subtle advances,
you need to take it for what it is. Either he just really is not interested
in you right now,or he really does just need space and you should give
it to him. But if on the other hand he seems to be interested in you more
than before, or is slowly warming up to you again, then you should continue
gradually advancing on him to rekindle the relationship.
- If your ex boyfriend is giving you the right signals, you can try to open
your heart up to him. Let him know how you feel, but avoid looking desperate
or needy in the process. If your ex is showing you that he is thinking about
rekindling things, then it would be healthy to be open with him. But if his
signals are pointing in the other direction, it may be wiser to step back
and let things happen more naturally.
These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. They are the
initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these
aren't my original ideas. I turned to T 'Dub' Jackson when I had no idea of
how to get my true love back.T 'Dub' authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called
"The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it worked like magic for us.
Now we are more in love than ever.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
How To Get My Ex back If He Wants More Space
Saturday, May 9, 2009
What to Do with a Man who Has Commitment Phobia and How You Can Spot One!
~ Cucan Pemo
There are some men who make women feel very lovable and desirable. They lavish love and gifts on them, and make them feel very special. But when it comes to marriage, they back out. They have a great fear of getting tied to a single woman for life. They run away from the very idea of marriage. Their relationships never have fairytale endings; instead they are littered with heartbreaks.
These men suffer from commitment phobia, a fear of committing themselves to one single woman. However, they don’t hesitate to play the loving game. They go out of their way to make their women feel special. They woo them with all the passion that they can command. But they cool off once the woman talks of marriage.
How to spot a commitment phobe
For any woman it is important to spot commitment phobes – that is men who suffer from commitment phobia -- early in the relationship. This is the only way they can keep their feet firmly on the ground, and not get swept away by the charm offensive launched by such men.
Fortunately, the commitment phobes are very predictable and display several common traits. These are:
1. They have been involved in several relationships in the past, but all of them have been
brief. The reason,they will charmingly tell you, is that they are yet to come across a woman
of their dreams, someone with whom they can have a lifelong relationship. You are that
woman, they will tell you. It is for you to spot the lie or swallow it hook, line and sinker.
2. They would show much more interest in you that you do in them They will follow you,
beseech you, please you, woo you – try every trick in the trade to win you over. They will
even drop hints of long and stable relationships; they will talk of “we” and “us” not “I” and
“me”.
3. They will make you feel very special. They will shower you with love and affection. They will
make you feel their world will come to an end if you spurn them or misunderstand them.
You will find it impossibleto resist them, unless you realize what is happening.
However, this ardent wooing will be limited to the first phase of the relationship. The relationship will take a different turn the moment you surrender It is not that such men treat women as trophies to be won, and then displayed in their personal museums; but they are driven by contradictory feelings. They neither want to give up a woman nor want to commit themselves to her. It is a psychological disorder. But it can have serious effects both on the relationship, and on you.
You will not realize what has happened to your relationship. The same man, who could not live without you for a moment, will start looking for excuses to stay away from you. You will no longer be the shining light of their lives. The talk of matrimony will freeze them. Your tears may make them unhappy but it will not move them. It wouldn’t be long before you are left only with memories and tears; the commitment phobe would have moved forward to another woman.
Why do they behave like this
You need not search for reasons for the souring of the relationship. You should also not blame yourself for what has happened. You must realize that commitment phobia is an emotional disorder, and you have become a victim of a person suffering from such a disorder.
According to psychologists, the commitment phobes behave like this because they suffer from certain beliefs about relationships. This may happen because:
- As a sensitive child, a commitment phobe’s world was torn by a bitter divorce between his parents. He grew up with a feeling that there can be no permanent relationship between a man and a woman. Such a relationship can only bring pain in the long run.
- Some commitment phobes cannot reconcile to the death of their father or mother or forget the sadness and grief that overcame their parents when one of them died. They therefore grow up with the feeling of not to enter into permanent relationships – relationships that can bring pain on account of the death of a loved one.
- Some commitment phobes may have been betrayed by those whom they loved. This would have created a mindset of never to give in to a woman again.
How to deal with a commitment phobe
You must realize that you have very few chances of winning a commitment phobe. You must therefore play hard to get. You must refuse to get into bed with him for very often this signals the end of a relationship. Let him feel desperate; let him step up his wooing. But don’t give in.
It is important that you continue to live your own life. You should not allow a commitment phobe to set the pace of your life. You should continue dating other men and act as an independent woman who can live her life on her own. Never make the mistake of playing second fiddle to such men or switching to what-a-wife-would-do mode.
You should not drum excuses for his behavior, or try to convince yourself that he is right and you are wrong. In your mind, you should not become his advocate. You must look at his actions, not his words. Words are easy; they can be lavished with freedom. But it is hard to match them with action.
If possible, you should convince him to see a psychologist. There is always a chance that a psychologist may be able to remove the fears that a commitment phobe has about marital relationships. But this cannot happen in an instant. You have to be patient, aand you have to see how the commitment phobe takes your suggestion or the counseling.
Finally, don’t grieve if your relationship breaks down. Take it in your stride. Treat it as a fun fling that was bound to end this way. In this way, you are always in control of yourself and your life; and you learn the importance of "responsibility" towards all decisions you are going to make in life and relationships!
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0 comments Labels: Love Commitment, understand men
Friday, May 8, 2009
“If Only I Could Understand Men….”
Men always say they can’t understand women, and that women are so complicated. Well, for many women, it is the exact opposite. Most would give anything to understand what makes men “tick.” Even though women want to know what he’s thinking, men are often reluctant to share what is in their hearts. What’s a woman to do?
Rather than describe all the differences between the sexes, it is often more helpful to focus on a few areas that any woman can understand.
1) Men are more sensitive than women. While that might sound silly, the truth is that men don’t have the ability to recover from emotional trauma as effectively as a woman. Because of this, men keep themselves from getting too upset. When a man hears he should just “let his feelings out,” what he translates that into is this, “If I let my feelings out, I might not be able to control them.”
2) Men hate fighting. For men, conflict is not simply resolving a problem. Fighting, to a man, means one has to win and the other needs to be totally defeated. Men often prefer conflict that is non-emotional because it is less threatening to them. Once a conflict becomes emotionally charged, it is very difficult for a man to contain those feelings and the most frequent coping skill is for them to become quiet. It may seem like they are punishing you, but they are most likely trying not to lose control.
3) Men want to get married. In spite of what many progressive cultures preach, the truth is that a majority of men in the world do get married. While the freedom of being single has its appeal, it comes with one primary drawback – it is lonely. While this might not sound overly romantic, finding a woman that a man can trust is just as important as finding one who is beautiful.
If you liked these insights, there are more available in Bob Grant’s wonderful e-book called, “The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave.” Bob Grant, L.P.C., has taken his 17 years of private practice as a Licensed Professional Counselor and Coach and condensed only the best information into a mouth-watering, powerful handbook on what men find themselves powerless to resist in a woman. You can have this information simply by Click Here!0 comments Labels: understand men, women men adore
