Sunday, August 16, 2009

Get the Relationship of Your Dreams

with Amy Waterman

When it comes to relationships, everyone has an opinion. Your mother. Your best friend. Your hairdresser.

But when it comes to opinions that count, you can't afford NOT to be choosy. Following what everyone else does will get you the same results as everyone else. And going by the divorce rate and the number of singles still searching for love, what everyone else is doing is not working too well.

That's where Amy Waterman comes in. She's a recognized relationship expert and writer who's well-known for her online courses and ebooks. She realizes that not everyone has the time to research the best quality information on finding a relationship and keeping it . let alone strengthening it in the face of challenges like infidelity, money, communication, stress, or simply falling out of love.

That's why you need to check out Amy's relationship ebooks and online courses. They're your quick, easy, and EFFECTIVE answer to your relationship problems.

Amy keeps up to date on the latest research to deliver you the best, scientifically-proven methods for finding new relationships and rekindling old ones. She's done the research so that you don't have to.

Best of all, her techniques are easy to understand and easier to follow. With an M.A. in writing and international speaking experience, Amy has a knack for providing the advice you need at just the right time.

Ultimately, most people go with what they can get. Common sense. Their hairdresser's advice. What they see on television.

Don't follow the crowd.

Get REAL advice. Get REAL solutions to your relationship problems. Amy Waterman's online courses will give you the CONFIDENCE of knowing what to do and what to say in every possible situation. Whether you're looking for love or want to rekindle a love that has died, her methods will give you the power to create the relationship you always wanted.

Discover her entire suite of relationship products today:

* Learn how to repair a damaged marriage with "Save My Marriage Today!"
* Women, unleash your inner seduction potential with "Seduction Genie."
* If your dream is to find love with the man of your dreams, you can't miss "How to Be Irresistible to Men."

These online courses are part of the Triple O Relationships Network, the ultimate resource to get the relationship you always wanted.

Monday, August 10, 2009

When Do You Know If He's Right?


by Amy Waterman, Relationship Expert

How many dates does it take to make a decision about whether or not you want to pursue a relationship?

I've always been curious about this aspect of dating, because very few women have comparable experiences. With some dates, the knowledge is immediate and instinctual. With other dates, months may pass before the endearing nature of his laugh, his smile, his character becomes apparent.

I know that I am a slow warmer. I am wary when I meet a man for the first time. I am dubious of his intentions. I read innuendo where none was intended. It takes me time to let down my guard.

It's not because I'm naturally a suspicious person. It's because, in the realm of relationships, I've been burned enough by bad apples.

I'm representative of most women my age. By one's thirties, one has experienced enough bad relationships to associate the dualities of pain and pleasure with a man. One is never sure how much to trust.

But this isn't natural.

Twenty years ago, I loved all boys. I played with them innocently and full-heartedly. Boys were my playmates, my cohorts in crime, and my teammates for games. I could think no evil of boys. Their strange preferences for dirt, body odor, cars, and constrictive underpants were simply idiosyncrasies of fascinating playmates.

As I grew older, I realized that boys could no longer be trusted to play innocently with me. My first two male friends in college were cool--a jazz musician and an Apple Mac gamer--until I realized they "liked" me. I quickly dissolved the friendships. I wanted the innocent companionship and friendship of my childhood male schoolmates. I didn't realize that maturing would erase that possibility completely.

When do we women lose our innocence with men? And can we ever regain it?

In my line of work, one great danger is to take relationships and attraction too seriously. Many women feel that the potential of the man they are seeing is a matter of life or death. Instead of having fun playing with him (like a child with a favorite playmate), they evaluate his potential as a father. They situate any future relationship squarely in the realm of adulthood. The rest of their lives is at stake.

My flatmate tells me that the definition of compatibility as a couple is when his or her issues are compatible with your issues.

That's a pretty adult view of the situation.

I have a different view. I believe that you know a man is compatible with you if he likes to play the same "games" you like to play. Maybe you like to tease in a certain way; maybe there's a certain game in bed that you like to play. Maybe you like to go out; maybe you like to mountain bike. If he likes to enjoy himself and have fun and laugh in the same ways as you, you've found a potential soulmate.

We all knew back in childhood that there were some children that we could play with for ages, and there were others who liked games that didn't interest us. It's the same with men and women.

Yet in our attempt to find a suitable man, we often forget to look for one that we have fun with. One that makes the kinds of jokes we find funny (and laughs at our jokes). One that is up for any crazy scheme we propose. One that will make our life happy and light-hearted, not just important and successful.

Life is serious and dry enough. We don't need relationships to replicate those patterns.

Relationships should be a haven from life's dry seriousness. You should be able to feel like a child with your partner, unembarrassed at the silliest of games. Together, you will be responsible for forming a life, raising children, making a home ... but all this will only be enjoyable if you can laugh together.

I have been out on dates with many successful, intense, highly attractive men. I admire them, appreciate them, and learn much from conversations with them. These are the men who will shape the world. No woman can fail to respond to their power.

But as for myself ... in my little, humble world ... I envision my ideal future as one in which there is always laughter, in which I can return to childhood with my spouse and play those games that I didn't get to play enough before I grew "old." I want us to be able to chase one another around the room, have pillow fights, and wrestle. I want us to tease one another, share silly jokes, and dissolve the seriousness of a working day with the magical spell of humor.

So, I suppose, the answer to my question is that it takes exactly the number of dates you need to decide whether you've found a companion you can play with. Some kids find a game they can play with each other right off the bat. Other kids end up trying lopsided games that one but not the other likes until they either find a game they like in common or give up.

Trust your child-heart's instinct. Ask yourself ... if you were a kid, would you play with this guy? Or would he be one of those kids who tries to control the game, or change the rules, or cheat?

A partner who makes life more fun is a treasure indeed,

All the best in life and love,

Amy Waterman
Host of "How to Be Irresistible to Men"
Learn More at:
http://www.000relationships.com/tomen/

***********************************************************************************
About the author:

Amy Waterman is a professional writer specializing in attraction, dating, and relationships. She has extensive experience in helping women find love with her insightful and powerful secrets into attracting love and making relationships work. She is currently the host of the latest edition of "How To Be Irresistible To Men," which is part of the 000Relationships Network.

Her innovative program is a powerful instant-access multimedia course with a comprehensive supporting workbook. Additionally, members receive a number of bonus e-books on topics ranging from overcoming shyness to kissing, a 160-minute online video library, secrets of self-hypnosis, their very own personal email consultation, and much, much more! The "How To Be Irresistible To Men" Premium Course offers all women – single or not - a dynamic and comprehensive toolkit to attract love into their lives and establish strong and supportive relationships.

You can learn more about how to attract the man of your dreams and get the relationship you always wanted at:

http://www.000relationships.com/tomen

***********************************************************************************

Friday, August 7, 2009

Why It's Called a Breakup

by Amy Waterman, Relationships Expert

A few months ago, I read Greg Behrendt's book on breakups, It's Called A Breakup Because It's Broken. I am a huge fan of He's Just Not That Into You, and I expected great things from the sequel.

It disappointed me. Not because the information wasn't good. Not because the style wasn't lively and engaging.

It was simply because nothing was revolutionary.

He's Just Not That Into You revolutionized my perspective on dating. Friends who read it suddenly "got" why previous relationships had dissolved. Greg explains that the simple reason why some relationships stuck together and others didn't was because the guys who are really into you want to be with you ... no matter WHAT.

Why didn't he call after the second date? He just wasn't that into you.
Why did he dump you? Because no matter how he claimed he felt about you, he just wasn't that into you.
Why should you not want him back? Because breaking up with you proved that he's not into you as much as you deserve.

The latter is the entire topic of It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken.

How a woman deals with a breakup tests her emotional maturity more than any other scenario. In order to grow as a woman, you MUST learn how to deal with breakups well, without poisoning your ability to love again. That's why studying this topic is so important.

At Triple O Relationships, we receive emails from so many women wanting to know how to get their previous boyfriend back. In fact, it would be fair to say that getting an ex back is one of the top three issues women hope we'll solve.

The problem is that 99.9% of these exes aren't worth having back. Many of them are abusive, have a personal life in shambles, are already with another woman, or have proven through their actions that they're unable to act in a mature way in a relationship or make the commitment to trying to become a better person and partner.

Yet these women would prefer to be with an imperfect partner than to be alone. Of course they would.

We all prefer the demon we know. Being single again means facing the dating scene, the lack of someone to depend on, no one to cuddle with, and putting on false bravery to one's friends. It is stressful, lonely, and hard to be single. It's an emotional challenge to feel fulfilled when there is no "special someone" in your life to whom you can give the gift of your abundant love.

But Greg's answer to the situation isn't adequate, either.

In his book, Greg tells us, "You deserve better than that ex of yours. He just wasn't that into you; otherwise, he wouldn't have broken up with you. Never settle for that. Demand a man who's truly into you."

Is getting over a breakup really that simple?

I don't think it is.

Don Miguel Ruiz, in The Mastery of Love, explains that the amount of abuse we tolerate in a partner is equal to the amount of abuse we heap on ourselves. If a woman is used to telling herself that she's ugly, that she fails at everything she tries, and that she's not capable of performing in the world without someone holding her hand, then she'll accept--and even feel most comfortable with--a man who reinforces these beliefs.

For example, if your partner makes a cutting comment about the horrible dinner you cooked that night, and one of your beliefs about yourself is that you are a bad cook, then you will accept his comment and berate yourself even more for not being better in the kitchen. If, on the other hand, you feel quite self-assured about your competence in the kitchen, you will challenge him on it and refuse to let his rudeness slide.

As a result, many women find it difficult to set higher standards for themselves in the dating world without re-evaluating how well they treat themselves.

Women who have a litany of negative self-comments running through their heads will accept partners who criticize them.

Women who don't value or respect themselves will accept partners who don't value or respect them either.

So what should we do?

Greg does his best to pump up our self-esteem. He calls us all "Superfoxes." He wants all of us women grieving over breakups to believe that we are totally hot babes who deserve princes. But (to point out the obvious) Greg doesn't know each of his readers personally. Greg's belief that I am a Superfox isn't enough to transform whatever personal beliefs I have inside about myself.

The 000 Relationships perspective on breakups is much more simple. Yes, women need to improve their sense of self-worth. Yes, women need to set realistically high standards when choosing partners. However, the only thing that women need to know when a breakup occurs is this.

It wasn't meant to be.

Can I repeat that? It wasn't meant to be.

If he decides that he no longer wants to be with you, then clearly it wasn't meant to be.

Let me explain.

A relationship is composed of two people. When one of those people backs out, then there is no longer a relationship. Even if the two people decide at a later date to get back together, they aren't simply continuing the old relationship. That's over. They are starting a new relationship, with new rules, that may be completely different from what they had in the past.

The number one thing women need when a breakup occurs is faith that things are happening as they are meant to happen, according to the Divine Plan that the Divine Power has for each one of us.

For me, my faith in the Divine helps me accept when life takes a different path to the one I desire. It doesn't mean I'm fatalistic. On the contrary. When I am in a relationship, I am actively seeking to improve it, to be the best partner I can be, and to grow in love.

But I am in the relationship ONLY to give my gift of love and learn how to give that gift better. I am NOT in the relationship to ask for what I give to be given back to me.

Most people, unfortunately, operate on the barter principle of love.


I'll give you love if you give me love.

If I give you love that isn't returned, then you owe me.

If I give you love, and you throw it back in my face and walk away, then I have the right to hate you, because you're a bad person for not wanting to accept my love.



That's just plain ugly.

If you want to learn to face a breakup maturely and grow even more beautiful, more loving, and more open as a result, then this is what you need to do.

Love through the breakup. Love him. Love him even though he isn't yours. Send all your love to him as best wishes for his future. Use the opportunity to grow in love and embrace all that was best in yourself when you were with him.

Don't let the poison of the dying relationship enter your soul. Don't take away from the relationship the arguments, the hurtful things he said or did, and the mistakes made. You can forget those now. It's over.

Just take away the beautiful things. Take away how you felt in your best moments. Take away how you felt your heart open, how you learned to give him more than you'd ever given anyone else.

Then let him go with love.

I firmly believe that whatever happens, happens for a reason, and I trust that the reason lies in the Divine. I don't have to know why a man broke up with me; I simply have faith that God is leading us both down the right path for each of us.

So when a man breaks up with you, all you need to do is recognize that this particular relationship wasn't meant to be (even though you may start a new one later down the track with the same person) and let the decision rest with the Divine. Believe, if it helps, that he wasn't the one who dumped you; it was the Divine Spirit acting through him for the benefit of you both.

It's called a breakup because life has different paths for you at the moment. Breakups don't have to hurt. They're only about rejection if you make them about rejection. You have the power inside yourself to decide how you are going to make meaning of the end of your relationship.

If you are a mature woman, you will bid him goodbye and bless his future with all of your continued love, and then you will turn to the Divine and meditate on the what possible plan the Divine has for you that requires your new found freedom.

If you are like most women, you will despise him, transform all the love you once had into hate, focus on the pain, and let your self-esteem plummet in the face of rejection.

Which choice do you prefer?

Amy Waterman
Host of "How to Be Irresistible to Men"
Learn More at:
http://www.000relationships.com/tomen/

***********************************************************************************
About the author:

Amy Waterman is a professional writer specializing in attraction, dating, and relationships. She has extensive experience in helping women find love with her insightful and powerful secrets into attracting love and making relationships work. She is currently the host of the latest edition of "How To Be Irresistible To Men," which is part of the 000Relationships Network.

Her innovative program is a powerful instant-access multimedia course with a comprehensive supporting workbook. Additionally, members receive a number of bonus e-books on topics ranging from overcoming shyness to kissing, a 160-minute online video library, secrets of self-hypnosis, their very own personal email consultation, and much, much more! The "How To Be Irresistible To Men" Premium Course offers all women – single or not - a dynamic and comprehensive toolkit to attract love into their lives and establish strong and supportive relationships.

You can learn more about how to attract the man of your dreams and get the relationship you always wanted at:

http://www.000relationships.com/tomen

***********************************************************************************

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